2016: Looking for the Crest of a New Wave

2016. It’s been quite a lap around the sun.

I sit here writing in the surreal warm glow of another glorious Florida winter with my pregnant wife and loving in-laws while Chicago and the rest of the world seem to be freezing over. A new age is rising and everyone has their opinion of when it started and who to blame. In reality, we are always living in the middle of a how. Rome is burning and it only feels fitting to be strumming along on my ukulele while staring down an alligator in my pajamas.

That said, most of me feels so liberated and happy; to be genuinely living for the first time. If that means launching into a time of fear and struggle, then I couldn’t imagine being more prepared. Every carefully placed step of this journey has brought me closer to the world. From what I understand, this is the part where you meet the edge and jump; this is the part where you fly.

Sonogram at 21 weeks followed by meeting Laura Jane Grace on her book tour – 12/2/16

In my experience thus far, there isn’t a single process more intentional than trying to get pregnant while transitioning. The day I started hormones in 2015 was also the day Steph and I found out we miscarried. This has been our hell and back year. Two IUIs, patience, and tidal waves of hope and support later, here we are. While heroes fall and pervasive hate continues to rise to the surface, for me all of that loss is wrapped up in the old identity I used to carry, jettisoned off like a rocket-booster on my way towards the stars: action/ reaction.

I can’t wait to meet the new person that my love and I have created. I can’t wait to see how they will make this world a better place.

It’s also hard to be scared when you meet one of your heroes the same day that you get your first glimpse of your future child.

“It doesn’t look how it feels on the inside.” – Laura Jane Grace, Tranny

I know that whatever our kiddo does, they’ll be a rockstar.

Here’s to 2017 and the next adventure!

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