Musashi Mix Inq

Palliativity 215: Science Fiction/ Double Feature

Posted on October 31, 2013

Happy Halloween! Here's a few of my favorite humans being awesome together:

Didn't I say this was a double feature? Here is Neil and Amanda being adorable:


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Isle of the Lotus Eaters

Posted on October 28, 2013

Isle of the Lotus Eaters

"By means of microscopic observation and astronomical projection,

the lotus flower can become the foundation for an entire theory of the universe

and an agent whereby we may perceive Truth."

— Yukio Mishima —


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Palliativity 214: reverse rain dance

Posted on October 24, 2013

2 weeks without vicodin.

I'm still trying to figure out the balance of my other meds, but things are definitely getting better.

The chronic pain has flared up a for brief periods in the past couple weeks, but it remains thankfully manageable with the right combination of muscle relaxants, ibuprofen and lidocaine patches.

This is the best I've felt in months. Perseverance and positivity got me here; a reverse rain dance in the downpour:

Florence Welch isn't just etherial; she's a force of nature.


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Flower Drum Song – The Diamond Age

Posted on October 21, 2013

Flower Drum Song

As I've said before, Neal Stephenson's The Diamond Age is my favorite book of all time.

After each rereading, I appreciate the world, its colorful characters and compelling message more and more.

A meditation on the perilous conflict of dreaming of the future while remaining rooted in the past.

Nell, "the barbarian Princess with her book and sword.”


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Palliativity 213: the unencumbered mind

Posted on October 17, 2013

My new daily muscle relaxant dosage is effective enough that I haven't taken vicodin for a week. It's been great to have my evenings back rather than just waiting until I am free of responsibilities in order to take pain meds. Although my personality doesn't change much on opiates, there is a tinge of guilt when the venn diagram of the time I am with with my partner and the time I am on meds looks a lot like a circle.

My pain condition and the respective heavy meds I used to take all had the side effect of weighing me down. It's pretty awesome that on the eve of my thirtieth, I am more energized and optimistic than I've been in a long time.

Although I am still conditioned to be methodical and over plan, this year has taught me that I really enjoy the thrill of spontaneity. This past Sunday, my partner and I decided to head out on the lakefront for a bike ride because it was a gorgeous autumn day. Sounds simple, but that's the whole point. It felt great that I didn't have to weigh how many spoons this would cost. I didn't need to shoot-up with lidocaine beforehand or check that I had enough pain meds before heading out. I didn't have to worry about how this would effect my sleep that night or where I would be on the pain-scale when I got home. My only concern that day was that I couldn't shift my bike into third gear and I should probably try to fix it before our next ride.

Chronic pain isn't  just a physical condition. It changes the entire way you live your life. Now I wake up each day excited because I am just starting to.


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Your Honor – Dulcinea

Posted on October 14, 2013

Your Honor - Dulcinea

“I know who I am and who I may be, if I choose.”

— Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra, Don Quixote de La Mancha


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