Today I turned 30.
I never used to think that these watershed birthdays had some arbitrary epicness assigned to them, but this year leaves me fairly convinced.
Until this past January, I'd pretty much resigned myself to crippling chronic pain forever. After this year in treatment I feel better than I've ever felt before. At thirty, Im getting my second chance at youth.
At the same time, the decades of labour I've put into my artwork and judo have catapulted me into this crazy life I'm leading with my love at my side. If you'd asked kid-sized me what I wanted to do when I grew up, the only professions missing on my resume are astronaut and dolphin trainer.
Unshackled from pain and with new found ambition, I'm not looking at life as just a series of unrelenting challenges. No longer am I dictated to settle by my lack of spoons. I'm free to grow and to improvise. For the first time in my adult life, I am free to do things my way and to live on my terms.
Here's to 30.
This party is just getting started ;)
"A dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight,
and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world."
— Oscar Wilde —
"Train yourself to let go of everything you fear to lose."
— Yoda —
I love Hyperbole and a Half. Not enough awesome things can be said about its creator Allie Brosh.
As a fellow artist with a chronic condition, I am in awe of how Allie has crafted this entirely strange and disarming world of her memories, dogs, magical friends, dinosaur costumes, diabolical parents, intense emotional states and dead fish. The way that she addresses her past and present challenges head-on is an art all of its own. This rare interview with Allie as part of her recent book release reveals quite a bit about the women behind the shark-fin headed girl:
"Hold fast to dreams. For when dreams go, life is a barren field frozen with snow."
— Langston Hughes —
A quick update from my post a month back:
I'm getting closer to where I want to be and that alone deserves it's own little celebration. I still have some bad pain days, but the improvement is that they're not EVERY DAY. The waiting game while finding the right balance of meds is a little tedious, but knowing that I'm on the right path to awesomeness makes it much easier to cultivate the required patience. From looking back at the overall pain experience of this incredible roller-coaster of a year, I should be well on my way to demi-god by 2015 ;)